CGC: If the Hodag (see above) weren't a cross between a cat and a stegosaurus, what combination of beasts would it be?
AJK: The Hodag should embody the spirit of northern Wisconsin. I'm picturing a Pan-like creature where the top is one thing and the bottom is another. The top: an ax-wielding, cheap-brandy-drinking, red-and-black-plaid-wearing lumberjack with an unkempt beard and strong body odor. He is, as my dad would say, tougher'n hell. He is also a lot like my aunt's ex-husband. The bottom: a fat, fat ass and chunky legs in green-and-gold Packer pants.
CGC: Why are Swedes cooler than Germans?
AJK: I'm the wrong person to answer this question. I don't like being Swedish.
CGC: When you were doing your Ph.D. in Physics, what was the most boring thing you learned?
AJK: I don't know. It was all so boring that I've forgotten most of it.
CGC: How come there's a bar with a bocce ball court in Brooklyn but not in Manhattan?
AJK: In some parts of Brooklyn you have a population of young semi-hipsters, often from outside New York, who tend to romanticize the working class communities they've invaded. I think that's why they like going to a bar where they can play bocce; it makes them feel more connected to the (once predominantly Italian) neighborhood they live in. Of course there are young semi-hipsters in Manhattan too, they're just not as sentimental.
CGC: Who is the coolest Wisconsinite of all time?
AJK: Russ Feingold, the only senator to vote against the Patriot Act. All those so-called liberals from the coasts can kiss his midwestern ass!
CGC: Thanks, Angela.