CGC: What was the best thing about growing up in Fitchburg?
JL: Simply getting to say I grew up in Fitchburg. Now that I live out in one of the suburbs of FBurg--New York City--it definitely impresses people when they hear I was raised in that famous place, that Rome of the late-20th century. And trust me, I'm riding the gravy train for all it's worth. Because we've all heard the stories of the mean streets of Cleghorn, of the mighty Nashua River, of the 50-cent t-shirt rack of the St. Vincent de Paul Society thrift shop (right behind the Market Basket), of the Thunderbird Inn...but how many can actually claim to have lived it all??
CGC: If you could re-name Mt. Everest after someone, who would it be?
JL: Probably Corey Harris from the band Mother 13, in honor of his brave but ill-fated attempt to have his be the first rock group to play the summit.
CGC: Why are Finns cooler than Swedes?
JL: I think our three cultural pillars of alcoholism, suicide, and wedding-party knife-fights give us a definite edge over the Swedes.
CGC: How would you explain The Yankees to someone from another planet?
JL: It's like Jupiter, Saturn, and Uranus teaming up under orders from the Sun so as to pick on Pluto.
CGC: When, if ever, would you attend the Paskowitz Family Surf Camp in San Diego?
JL: Never. The story of the colon-rupturing surfboard mishap, as told in the Paskowitz documentary, is more than enough to scare me away from that sport forever. Also, post-Beach Boys, surfing seems to attract and/or inspire the world's worst musical endeavors for whatever reason. A broken surfboard lodged six inches up my bum and a constant, sub-Vedder soundtrack are not things I need in my life.
CGC: Thanks, Jim.