SCRF: What would happen is that I'd get a cool new relocation to Central Park West and 74th Street, my first born would be named Patrick Paul Hewson, and U2's next album would be called "An ode to Jode."
CGC: Which of Jamie Oliver's two stew recipes is better and why?
SCRF: Since one of these recipes is named for someone called "Andy the Gasman," I've never even tried it. I prefer Jools, mostly because it calls for 1/2 bottle of wine in cooking (I recommend a full bottle).
CGC: How would you describe marathon running to someone who has never run one?
SCRF: It's like what I would imagine to be the stages of life. The first five miles are full of wonder and amazement. Everything is new and exciting and you're so full of energy, you could do cartwheels (except me; I don't know how to do a cartwheel). You just can't believe you're here!!! The next 10 miles are basically a tough slog. It kind of sucks, but not really; you're working hard, but sometimes it's worth it. There are too many smelly people around you and occassionally someone farts when you're downwind. For the next five to eight miles, you dig deep and find energy from somewhere. You know that the end is coming soon, and though you wish you had enjoyed miles 5-15 more, unfortunately you've only got a few more to go and now you have to try to make up for lost time. All while you're body is starting to fail you. The last 3.6 to 6.6 miles, you feel like you'd be better off dead.
CGC: When do you think Calgary will finally be recognized as Canada's greatest city?
SCRF: When people from Toronto pull their heads out of their asses, and when Vancouverites realize there's more to life than yoga and rain.
CGC: If you could have three homes, where would they be?
SCRF: Central Park West & W 74th Street. A villa in Tuscany (never been, but sounds whimsical). Next door to Oprah. I think it'd be neat to say that I was Oprah's neighbour.