Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Quotes of the Week

This post might more accurately be named "Quotes of the Month"; the rate with which my esteemed friends and colleagues have said something funny has diminished in the last four weeks. So while I post these quotes here for your enjoyment, I also issue this directive: be quotable! Preferably within earshot of me!
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On smoker CE's complaints regarding her master cleanse
CE: Chickens, I feel kind of pukey and nauseous.
KP: You feel pukey and nauseous? Maybe it's because you cleansed your body and are now infusing it with tar and nicotine.
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LP: The reason I come to America, this great country, is for the BAM BAM BAM! Where is the BAM BAM BAM?
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On the "MotherLovers" opening scene
CGC: Wait, why were they in jail?
LRC: Are you serious? Because they were showing their d**ks to everyone.

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While at Collegetown Bagels in Ithaca, after the night from hell
LRC: I'm going to order the biggest coffee that they have.
CGC: I know, I'm going to order the biggest mug of tea they have.
LRC: Living on the edge, are we?

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On LP's root canal that morning
CGC: How are you feeling?
LP: I feel pretty good, because of the drugs. I feel...serenity.

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On Halloween costumes for this year
CGC: You're not going to be a pants-less Winnie-the-Pooh like last year?
BKG: No, I lost my Tigger.
CGC: Oh, that sounds so sad! You lost your Tigger!
BKG: Because Tigger was a vindictive bitch.

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On CGC's lack of some adult teeth
LP: Make sure you are solidly married to a man before you tell him of your condition.

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