Siblings, Stick-Eaters, and BFFsPicture this: it is a foggy and cold June night in San Francisco. The year is 1983, and in the Inner Richmond District a bright-eyed two year-old is playing with her godmother. Although most toddlers would be in bed at this hour, this particular child never goes to sleep before 11:00 pm. Tonight, however, she is awake--and still playing--for a different reason. In a few minutes, she will be summoned to her parents' bedroom to meet someone very important, and this person will change the course of her life forever. She is about to meet someone who will not only be her closest friend and ally, but also her mind melder and occasional proxy. She is about to meet Larkin Callaghan
CGC: What was your best experience as a party tart proxy?
LRC: This was obviously a plug for me to mention the time you left me in charge socially while you went off to read in your room. However, there have been a lot, and I would also mention either bursting open the pinata in front of the 3rd Ave flat on your birthday, or leading the troop of ribboned, nicely coordinated and well-dressed in pink 8 year-olds through Fairyland in Oakland.
CGC: Describe the perfect New York City day, and how it differs from the perfect San Francisco day.
LRC: The perfect San Francisco day is anything within the borders of SF, Marin, Alameda, or San Mateo Counties. Specifically, a morning run in GG Park, a walk through Muir Woods ending at the Tourist Club, a dip in the Bay and lay in the sun on Crissy Field, dinner on Union or Chestnut or in Mill Valley, and a show at the Warfield. It would be tightly scheduled. The perfect New York City day is anything within the borders of New York County. Specifically, a morning run in Central Park, a trip to the Boat Basin for brunch, a walk up in the Cloisters, a Broadway show, dinner at a ridiculously overpriced West Village restaurant, and watching the movie projected on Chelsea Piers while hanging out at the Frying Pan.
CGC: Why are you not as excited by the Tour de France as me and CSC?
LRC: This feels like character assassination. I like the Tour. You are just borderline fanatic.
CGC: True or false: luna bars are superior to olives.
LRC: Absolutely false. Are you on crack?
CGC: How would you defuse a fight between hipsters from the Mission and hipsters from Williamsburg (and what would the fight be about)?
LRC: The fight would likely be about which coast's hipsters were more true to the movement's themes of trust funders slumming with no sense of irony, political correctness without actual political understanding, and general perversity and disregard for societal norms that have evolved over the decades out of respect for things like hygiene and grooming. I would choose to not defuse the fight in hopes that they would wipe one another out in a furious explosion of fedoras, felt vests, and chuck taylors dirty from dumpster diving. Let 'em riot.